


drabbles of my children

by lowkeylester



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Dysfunctional Relationships, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Pining Dan Howell, Serial Killer Shane Madej, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-02-16 01:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowkeylester/pseuds/lowkeylester
Summary: just a bunch of short things that i've written that aren't long enough to be their own one shots but i still like them a lot so im posting them here





	1. soft tones [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan is playing the ukulele and shane is just watching him
> 
> it's pretty cute
> 
> inspired by a youtube video called 'soft tones on a stormy evening' by kickthepj

ryan was sitting on the couch, a ukulele in his hands, quietly strumming and staring at the instrument. shane sat beside him and was just as quiet in watching the other boy's fingers dance against the strings.

music fills the room, chord after chord playing to form harmonies and simple melodies. ryan's music ranges from a chorus in a popular song to random notes put together followed by a series of scales and arpeggios.

listening to his boyfriend play made shane want to play an instrument. maybe one day he would. but watching ryan play would be good enough for him at the moment.

shane thinks of ryan's playing as him speaking through his instrument. the increase and decrease of tempos display how fast his mind is racing or how relaxed he is. the never-ending cycle of notes show how much he has to say but can never really get out. shane finds it beautiful and poetic, just like ryan.

after a while, ryan looks up at shane.

"what are you looking at me for?"

"i love you."

"that didn't answer my question," ryan pauses to sit up and kiss shane's cheek, "but i love you too." ryan snuggles closer to shane, resting his head on his chest. shane wraps his arms around the smaller boy and lets out a sigh. once he's comfortable, ryan begins to strum again and a tiny bubble of safety and comfort is theirs once more.


	2. let it out [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "ryan blinked for barely a second and just as quickly as the entity appeared, it disappeared. now this wasn't funny anymore. they just lost real proof of the supernatural and shane was teasing him yet again. the spirit was gone. their chance was lost. and ryan was done with everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lost so many drafts for this chapter im so done ugh
> 
> ao3 loves seeing me struggle !!!
> 
> s i g h

ryan was tired of shane's attitude. his never-ending stream of criticism against those who believed that ghosts were real. his annoying comments about how stupid it was that people _actually_ believed in that stuff.

and one day ryan just got fed up with it.

**\- - -**

the cameras were rolling. shane was bravely mocking the spirits yet again. but this time was different.

"hey demons, turn on this light, you cowards!"

but ryan saw something in the corner of the room. it wasn't a shadow from one of them, nor was it a reflection off of something leaving ryan to deduce that he was in fact staring at a shadow person.

"ryan, what's wrong?" shane laughs, "you look like you've seen a ghost!"

ryan blinked for barely a second and just as quickly as the entity appeared, it disappeared. now this wasn't funny anymore. they just lost real proof of the supernatural and shane was teasing him yet again. the spirit was gone. their chance was lost. and ryan was done with everything.

he felt a hand on his shoulder. a warm hand. shane's hand.

but he just shoved it off of him and sighed.

"look shane, i get it, you don't believe in this shit but can you just chill out for a sec? ghosts aren't real in your mind, but you're not me so just let me fucking live my life and believe without your constant remarks."

and ryan wasn't even scared of the thought that a spirit had just appeared in front of him. they finally had real proof of ghosts and ryan was bashing shane for being an asshole.

"dude, im sorry, i was just joking-"

"joking? so are you always joking? are your insults all jokes because they sure as hell don't seem like it," shane opens his mouth to speak but ryan cuts him off again. "you know what, everything you say must be a joke because you never stop harassing me about everything that i do and it never ends so please just chill the fuck out and let me be!"

"ryan, im never doing this on purpose, it's just for the show, if i knew that it hurt you this much i would've stopped. im so sorry, you should've told me-"

and then ryan fell into shane's arm and started crying. he let out loud, mournful sobs that sounded like they had been pent up for far too long. 

shane just let it happen and placed his hand on ryan's back to comfort him. slowly sliding his back against the wall, shane sat down on the dirty floor and moved them into a more comfortable position.

ryan looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and wet eyelashes. "im sorry," was all that he could let out before sobbing even harder, his noises echoing throughout the old, empty room.

"shh, ryan, don't say that. never be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong, i love you too much for me to actually think that you did something wrong."

then shane took a moment to be regretful. it wasn't his intention to accidently let the 'L' word slip out but here he was, baffled in the aftermath of it. and although it seemed to matter a fair deal to shane, ryan was seemingly soothed by it seeing as he calmed to a quiet whimper and wasn't gripping shane's shirt as hard as before.

"shane, im really sorry, im just really-"

"it's fine. come on." shane stands and pulls ryan up beside him, the two brushing themselves off once on both feet. shane took ryan's hand in his and pulled them out of the house and outside to the car they drove here in.

"what are we doing? what about the lockdown? we left all of our stuff in there." ryan asks, clearly confused.

" _we_ ," shane says, unlocking the car, "are going back home to enjoy a movie and relax. the crew is going to stay back and take down all of the cameras. you need to unwind for a bit so that's what you're getting." without a second thought, the pair got into the car and silently drove home. 

so they did just what shane said; after taking quick showers, they sat on shane's old couch and put on the first movie that they saw: the princess bride. "ah yes, a classic." ryan said, giggling a little at the movie choice.

but they didn't complain and about five minutes into the movie started unintentionally cuddling, followed by them both falling asleep twenty minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like this one bc i went through a lot to post it
> 
> aNywAY  
> is anyone playing animal crossing pocket camp bc if so my id is 78171759033
> 
> i need people to help me with the shovelstrike (??) quarry because i want those candy canes and im poor in the candy cane department
> 
> k bye see ya later


	3. tree tops [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan wants to put the star on the tree but he's a lazy small boi so shane helps him out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "13. I want to put the star on the tree, but I’m short and I’m too lazy to get a ladder and-Oh, you’re lifting me up AU" by @propertyofpoeandbucky on tumblr

ryan bergara was short. to shane madej he was at least. and the effects that come with being his height seem to prohibit certain things, such as putting a star on a christmas tree. 

in that particular situation, he struggled a lot.

and here was, frantically hopping as if the act would make his efforts seem less frivolous. it didn't.

"hey ryan, if you're so determined to put up the star, then why don't you just get a ladder from the garage?" shane asks, amused by the shorter man's efforts.

"no, i don't feel like it. and either way, im perfectly capable of putting a star on a tree." shane sighs. ryan continues his jumping, never really getting _quite_ there. ryan stops for a moment and pouts, clearly upset that he can't even get close to the top. _jesus christ, why did they have to get such a tall tree?_

with ryan still peering up at the distant peak of the tree, shane decides to give him a hand, not wanting to see him struggle anymore.

the taller of the two slid his hands under ryan's armpits and lifted him off of the ground. ryan looks back at him only to see a smug smile from shane making ryan pout even more.

seeing as he was already at the top, ryan decided to just take what was given to him and finally put the star on the tree. slowly being brought down to the floor, he was very happy with his work.

ryan, still a little in shock that shane picked him up and slightly out of breath from his jumping before, dusts himself off.

"see?" he lets out a puff of air, "i told you i was fully capable of putting the star on that tree."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> w o aH it's christmas !!
> 
> merry christmas and happy holidays everyone! i made this at like 3 am because i wanted to post something for christmas but i wasn't sure what until like a couple hours ago.
> 
> anyway, here's what i got for christmas:
> 
> jack shit besides pokemon ultra sun and moon
> 
> well that's all from me for now, enjoy the season :)


	4. compliments [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i found this prompt on the phandom amino and then i wrote this
> 
> it's vv fluffy v cute i hope you like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based off of the prompt: "My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes."

"my friends get so annoyed by how much i talk about you sometimes," shane said quietly, whispering in the equally quiet room.

he was laying on his bed next to ryan, the two lying on their sides facing each other. they were going to watch a movie but decided that lying in each others presences was enough to satisfy them.

"im sure they would, nobody wants to hear about me to begin with."

shane laughs, "as if someone wouldn't be honored to hear about your very existence."

"im not thrilled by my own existence so i don't know about that and even then, what is there even to say about me?" ryan asks.

"well," shane starts, intertwining their hands together, "i could talk about how much i love you and how much you mean to me and the like."

ryan smiles. "go on."

"i could talk about how funny you are, how sweet you are, how you're the greatest boyfriend in the world, etcetera. oh, but i could go on and on about how beautiful your eyes are, because they are, indeed, beautiful."

"wow, i didn't think someone could find shit-brown beautiful."

"but here we are," shane giggles.

"while we're on this topic, i could say so much about you."

"oh really? like what?"

ryan pauses, gazing over shane's face before looking elsewhere. "well you're snarky as hell, you're unnaturally tall, and you're a huge nerd."

"ah, well, i guess that what you got yourself stuck with, didn't you?"

"you act like that's a bad thing," ryan teases.

"you say it like it's a bad thing."

"it isn't. anything related to you could never be a bad thing. you're too good for that." and with that, ryan leans forward and kisses shane's nose, a light blush appearing on his cheeks, the same happening to his boyfriend.

"now do you understand, that there's so many wonderful things to say about you?"

"oh, yeah," ryan sighs before continuing, a smug smirk growing on his face, "i just wanted you to keep talking about me."

"shut up, ryan." shane grabs a pillow and softly hits ryan in the face with it. they laugh together until the older of the two pulls the other into his chest, assuming a spooning position.

shane finally lightly kisses the top of ryan's head, and pulls him closer, both boys falling asleep soon after that.


	5. runaways [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shane did an oopsie
> 
> multiple oopsies actually

ryan bergara had made a mistake. a mistake that could've been avoided had he not let shane sleep over last night. but it had been late when they got back to town from the airport and ryan's apartment was closer than shane's and how could deny his friend a place to stay?

so ryan welcomed him as any good friend would, helped bring in his bags, set up the guest bedroom for him, and even let him take a shower first.

and as shane was taking a shower, ryan decided to bring his bags to his room. he dropped the two bags next to the bed, the larger one of the two making a sound that was different to the other one's normal thud. and come to think of it, the strange bag also seemed to smell weird.

ryan knew shane was weird but this just made him uncomfortable for some reason. he decided to take a look at the bag's contents because why not? it was probably just some weird souvenirs or foods that he had brought back from their trip, nothing to worry about.

oh how _wrong_ he was as he unzipped the bag.

blood. dismembered body parts. sharp weapons. all in shane's bag.

ryan probably would've just kept staring at the items in the bag until he heard a voice behind him.

"ryan? what are you doing?" he went cold. ryan had read too many horror novels not to know that this was his end. so all he did was slowly turn to face shane. he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. what could he possibly have to say upon seeing a murder scene in a bag?

shane could see that there was no point in hiding the truth so he just sighs and turns to head out of the bedroom. and ryan, wanting answers but not really, follows him to see if this was all just a joke, a big misunderstanding.

they passed by the kitchen and ryan checked the time. right now it happened to be 2:43am. it also happened to be the point in time when ryan realised who he had befriended and let stay in his home. shane stopped and turned to look back at his friend.

"don't look at me like that, like im a monster."

and suddenly, ryan could speak again.

"you've apparently killed people, shane, am i supposed to look at you like you're a saint?"

"fine, you know what, it doesn't matter what you think of me, what matters is how soon we can leave town."

"we... leave town?"

"yes. you're a witness so now im a runaway killer and you're my accomplice," ryan opens his mouth to interrupt but is quickly shushed, "let's get a move on, shall we?" shane turns and starts walking towards the front door.

"and what, im supposed to just go along with this? do you think that i won't call the police?"

he reaches for the doorknob, then stops. without turning back to look at me, he says, "if you even think about turning me in, consider yourself dead already."

and there wasn't amusement in his voice anymore. ryan wasn't dealing with a snarky guy who he was working with on a youtube show. he was dealing with a cold-blooded killer that was willing to kill a friend to get what he wants.

the door opens. they walk out. the pair makes their way to ryan's car, unlocking it and stepping inside.

"drive," shane commands. but ryan is in a daze and froze and he can't move. he stares wide-eyed at the road in front of him as though if he didn't move then he wouldn't have to worry about what seemed to be the path laid in front of him.

"drive." shane seemed more demanding this time. but or course, the car didn't move.

"ryan." the taller of the two placed his hand on the shorter's right thigh.

"go." ryan suddenly makes the car accelerate, causing the two to lurch forward.

"there we go... okay. just take us out of town baby."

after taking an hour trailing through different back roads, they drove out out of the city and into a treacherous new life for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of want to make this into a serial killer au fic but i can't really think of anything to add to it rn
> 
> just let me know if that would be cool or not idk


	6. secret [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof crushes are the worst and i guess this is just the boys experiencing that first hand but not really??
> 
> i honestly don't know what this is

ryan bergara had made a mistake. a very simple mistake that in retrospect wasn't all that much of a big deal in the grand scheme of things but because he was in highschool, everything was a big deal.

he had done the unthinkable - he told his best friend's crush, his best friend being shane madej, that shane liked her.

and shane was not happy, not one bit.

**\- - -**

“i could literally kill you right now!” shane yelled at ryan, the boy who he thought he could call his 'friend'.  
  
"and i could say the same for you! you're completely overreacting!"

"you don't even get the right to say that, ryan!"

"oh, _really_? well, it's not like one girl not liking you back will change anything."

"i don't like her, ryan! how could i like a girl like that?"

"w- wait what?" as if he's waited his whole life to do this, shane grabs the back of ryan's neck and their lips meet in a kiss.  
   
ryan quickly pulls away, flustered and clearly in shock.

“i-im sorry, i swear it won’t happen again-" shane stuttered.

without a second thought, ryan pulled shane close and kissed him. their lips lingered together for a moment before separating, a soft smile on ryan's face.

"why did you lie to me?" ryan asked. he was breathing heavily, a light pink dusted onto his cheeks.

"you just kept asking me who i liked so i just said her so you would get off of my back. but i guess you know who i really like now."

"oh, _no_ , i actually have _no_ idea."

"shut up, you loser."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a lil random idk where it came from but i hope that it's at least somewhat enjoyable
> 
> also if you haven't noticed,,, i made a shyan fic,,, it's called live a little,, i would appreciate it if you gave it a chance :)
> 
> okay oKay enough of that, i'll be back when im suddenly inspired again  
> byeee


	7. silent night [phan]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not posting in this for,,,, months 
> 
> but oh well

dan stares at himself in the mirror, the remnants of the shower he had just taken clinging to him like the fruity-sweet smell of his shampoo. his damp hair stuck to his forehead, a few drops of water falling onto his torso and the towel wrapped around his waist.

he opens the bathroom door and steps out, the cool air hitting him quickly at the sudden tempurature change.

dan rounds the corner to find phil lazing back in bed – the king-size they’re sharing due to another booking error, which he had grumbled to himself about earlier – totally consumed by the device on his lap. the room is dark, with only phil's bedside lamp and his laptop screen's dim glow illuminating the space.

sure, they'd shared beds before, but this - right now, felt different somehow. and this slight difference just added to his anxiety.

the most important thing – he thinks, as he concentrates on willing the discomfort from his face – is that phil doesn’t seem to have noticed him. in fact, the man hasn’t even so much as acknowledged his reappearance in the room.

that said, he’s still safe within his own mind, however pathetic it is, so dan turns to his suitcase, rummaging through clothing for something to wear. he fishes out a pair of boxer-briefs and his pyjamas and tucks it all under his arm, heading back into the bathroom to get dressed.

you're fine, he tells himself, wanting desperately to believe it. he gets dressed quickly, splashes cold water on his face, doesn’t bother tidying the toiletries he’s left strewn by the sink. steeling himself, he re-enters their room with his chin up and eyes averted, moving straight for the safety of bed as soon as he can. slipping his legs underneath, he pulls the duvet up to his ears and shuts his eyes, willing the day to end sooner.

there’s some shuffling – a clatter of phil's laptop being put down on the table – before he hears the sound of a switch being flipped. the room plunges into darkness around them.

it feels weird, them going to sleep in silence. they always say /something/ at least, but dan just can't bring himself to say anything. so he leaves it be for fear of eluding to the anxiety threatening to take him over. he keeps still, forces his breathing to even out.

he waits a few moments more, listening to his best friend fall asleep beside him, until he starts to fall under himself.

**\- - -**

dan blinks his eyes open some time later. it's still night-time, his clock telling him it’s three-sixteen in the morning. it takes him a moment to understand where he is – a hotel, he’s away, the tour – and figure out why he’s woken up.

nothing around the room seems to have woken him. so he lays back down and tries to find whatever will he had to sleep earlier and closes his eyes.

but his eyes shoot open and he sits up when he remembers the presence of the person that is laying next him. the wonderful, beautiful person by his side.

his heart suddenly fills with love and joy just at the mere sight of phil, his utter existence being enough to bring someone happiness.

dan slowly lays fully on his back again and closes his eyes as he lets out a shaky sigh, wishing that he could say something he wants to so desperately tell phil.

he just wants to flat out say that,  
[I]yeah, it’s three am and i should be asleep but it just kind of occurred to me that i absolutely want to spend the rest of my fucking life with you.

[I]like, i wanna have matching fucking mugs and get a dog or something, and we can name it susan because of /course/ we'll name it susan and i'll make you pick up the poop when we walk it because that's gross but yes, the dog can sleep on the bed, and i want to buy a really big, overpriced house and have a shit ton of houseplants that you always forget to water, and i want to, i don't know, adopt a kid, like a tall ass little boy, and i want to watch you get all old and grey and wrinkly and i want to be right there getting wrinkles with you.

when he finally opens his eyes, he notices the tears that pour out soon after. a small sad smile appears on his face as he glances over at phil. the still, lovely, and delicate body next to him that he has been blessed to be in the presence of.

[I]is that stupid? i just want to be by your side for the rest of this shit and yeah. i really really love you.

dan turns on his side facing the window and urges himself into sleep, hoping to neglect his saddening thoughts. he feels phil shuffle behind him, incoherent mumbling following that.

and then an arm is loosely draped over him.

phil mumbles something again and exhales before settling his face to rest in dan's hair.  
dan doesn't say anything. he chooses not to do anything about it but move closer into the embrace and enjoy the closeness.

dan decides that he likes this position and that he can fall asleep just like this. that he wants to go to sleep like this every night. that he never wants phil to let go of him until he says so.

he knows that it will have to end, whatever is happening right now. but he's going to make the most of it.

he settles into the night, the silent emotions washing over him again and again with thoughts of hopes and dreams that lull him to sleep.

and, for a moment, dan's heartache subsides into tranquil bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone actually still reading this anymore  
> if so, pls let me know :')
> 
> k bye it's two am and i must sleep


	8. run dry [shyan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i never meant to keep so many secrets, but at the same time, i drank too much to even remember them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so uh i like the idea of this but i don’t exactly like how i executed it so sorry 🤷 i just really wanted to get it out bc i’ve had it in my drafts for so long that im just over it sigh
> 
> also, this is inspired by run dry by patrick stump, im sure that a lot of people know who he is but if not, now you know. i strongly recommend listening to this song and the album that it’s from, soul punk. here's a link if you want: www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ0slm2m...
> 
> tw: mentions of alcoholism and basically an overall unhealthy relationship.

> _"step one: drink."_

_"i get drunk a little too much for it to be healthy, no one wants to help me."_

 

"get me another shot, zach." he grabs a bottle, pouring my glass to the rim. i down it as soon as it comes close to overflowing. i bang the shot glass on the counter, swallowing with difficulty.

looking around at my surroundings, i try to take it all in. i've been here so many times that it feels weird that i find something new about this place everyday. but no matter how hard i tried to understand the area around me, it was a just bright and loud blur in front of my eyes.

"you okay there buddy? guess i won't give you any more to drink, huh," zach says, putting the bottle on a shelf under the counter. 

"eh, it's not that... actually scratch that - it's, like, 67% part of my problem."

"so what's the other 33%? is it _him_?" he put emphasis on " _him_ ", so he clearly understood.

"yes, of course, it's always him. but he's not the problem," i start to raise my voice, resting my head in my hands. "im the problem! im here drinking my cares away, while he's at home probably wondering where i am! no he's not, he knows im here, so why can't he just stop me? and then when i come home, we'll fight again and i'll sleep on the couch. the next morning, there'll be more fighting until we both give up and make up somehow because we can't live without each other. i love him, but im just so... _bad_ for him."

"why don't you just stop coming here then? besides occasional visits because i would miss you if you just up and left me," zach pouts, and it's true. it wouldn't feel right if i left out of nowhere.

but it doesn’t take long for a drunk man to remember who he is in the world.

"because i can't." and it was simple as that. zach seemed to understand that this was the end of it for right now and brought out the drink again, refilling my once empty glass.

**☆**

 

_"step two: make mistakes."_

_"when i was drunk, i might have said some things i didn't mean. it's nothing wrong with you, it's something wrong with me."_

 

the door creaks open, a gasp coming from someone inside. 

"shane? please tell me that's you..." a timid voice whispers.

"yeah, it's me." before i can open the door all the way, he runs up to me and grabs me tightly. i slowly wrap my arms around him, relishing in the inevitable calm before the storm which took place only moments after our hug with ryan hitting me on my shoulder with a pillow. "what the fuck is wrong with you? i know i should always expect this from you but, i really shouldn't. ugh, why do i even put up with you? do you know how much it hurts to come home from work to an empty house, knowing exactly why it's empty?"

"of course i do! do you think i want to get drunk everyday because i know it hurts you? im not a heartless asshole, ryan. i do care about you."

"well it sure doesn't seem like it! drinking all day, never spending time with your boyfriend, yelling at me even though i've done nothing wrong, oh yeah, totally not an asshole," he scoffs.

"why can't you just understand that im not doing this because i hate you? it hurts me too! god, it hurts me so much to know how much pain i must cause you, but i can't stop! i've gotten into this endless loop, a routine that i can never seem to let go of. it kills me inside, ryan. you do nothing wrong, it's always me, im the problem and i know it! i know that i need to stop, im trying!"

"you're trying? i find that hard to believe considering you've done this every single night for three years! you'd think something would've changed, right?"

"i know, i know, i really do-"

"you  _know_? then why can't you just fix this fucking mess of a relationship we have here and stop drinking? i wanted to help, but after about a year of trying and just getting pushed away, i decided that i shouldn't waste my time on you. and yet here i am, still worrying about you," he sounds almost on the verge of tears.

"ryan, please, im sorry, im going to change, i promise."

"how can i believe that if you've broken every single other promise? old habits die hard, shane."

"fine. don't give me a chance, i guess i really don't fucking care about you anyway, do i?"

"just shut up, i hate you! why do i even put up with you anymore?!" ryan yells, stomping off into our once shared bedroom.  i let out a shaky sigh.

_"i don't know."_

**☆**

i wake up in the morning with a dull throb in my head, similar to a faint hangover, but not quite. i guess that's just what alcoholism does to you.

i hear the door unlock and creak open, ryan emerges from ‘our’ room, and walks directly to the kitchen, not acknowledging my existence. he grabs the loaf of bread from the fridge and places two slices in the toaster. he stays facing the appliance for a couple minutes before taking a deep breath and turning towards me.

“what the fuck is wrong with us?” ryan asks, searching for anywhere but my eyes.

i take a moment to think of a response.

”i don’t know.”

”don’t you have somewhere to be?” ryan asks, and usually, shane would have somewhere to be.

not somewhere productive, just the usual bar down that street that he had gotten accustomed to.

but that usual track is not his plan today.

”im here. should i be anywhere else?”

ryan looks down and gives a small smile, “no, i guess not.”

and for once, shane actually wants to be in his apartment. he isn’t aching for the hour that the bar opens or waiting until ryan leaves to start his day because somehow, someone knocked some sense into him and made him realize how pivileged he was already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bRO WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS 1.1K+ HITS
> 
> DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT YOURE READING
> 
> either way, i really appreciate that people actually read this, it makes me more motivated to write :)  
> (which is funny bc i’ve just been posting old shitty one shots lmao) 
> 
> okay anyways im a lonely lil thot so pls chat with me, i love the comments and just talking to the people in general so yeah bye fellow thotties


End file.
